Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

Many days of the week I have sex with someone, different people mainly.  We meet in hotels, homes, I stay for an hour maybe two.  And I am paid.  I am often touched, intimately, spend time close with another.

And yet I crave human touch.  More then anything else right now.  I want human touch, to be hugged, stroked, fall asleep in the arms of another.  Anything – as long as there is a prolonged human touch.

It seems ironic when I touch so many people in such an intimate way that I would feel starved of closeness.  But it is different.  There isn’t the same connection somehow.

I think it is how I can’t relax in the same way,  I want to be able to let go, become weightless in that touch, that hug.  But you can’t let go when you are so focused on:

  • what is he doing
  • where are his hands
  • what does he want
  • is he enjoying this
  • do i look sexy
  • feel sexy to him
  • am i still safe
  • ………………..the list could go on

It makes me tense, unable to relax, not there in the moment.  Because I am so busy orchestrating that perfect moment, that is exactly what that client wants right then and there.  Acting and pretending so perfectly that the client will never guess that the moment isn’t real, that it doesn’t exist outside that moment.

I’ve been lucky recently with spooning from friends, and it leaves me feeling so relaxed and happy.  Content with the world.  TV shows people high fiving at getting laid, i’m far happier when i get to spend a night spooning someone I feel I can trust.  The next day i want to shout it from the roof-tops.

Old Vs. Young

Posted: October 23, 2013 in Uncategorized
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It has been a while since I have posted.  Life has been incredibly busy recently, it always is at the end of the summer travels. 

I am now back at home and settling in work, study, life.  I’m working just a little because I don’t need to work more and I don’t want to.  I work to live, not live to work. 

Today I would like to talk about age of my clients.  My clients vary in age, from their early 20s to somewhere in their 60s.  All of my clients have been civil and lovely to me. 

My older clients are delightful, gentle (except when we’ve agreed for something more kinky) and, they love to make me come.  I mean seriously.  They want to make me cum, and cum, and then cum some more.  sometimes it gets to a point where I literally can not come anymore.  I am begging them to stop, there is only so much pleasure that a body can take. 

I am lucky because I can cum again and again.  Also it isn’t that hard to make me cum.  If I am in the mood for cumming it literally is a matter of stopping me from cumming. 

These older clients take some of the meeting time to talk, about themselves, their lives, their ideas.  There is a connection that forms between us during the session. 

Younger clients though are a whole other kettle of fish.  There was one who wanted to fuck for the WHOLE hour, constantly.  He would cum and then be trying to get it hard again.  He wanted to squeeze every second out of that session.  There was little talking, just fucking.  It was exhausting, one of the most exhausting meets I have ever had. 

I wonder how these two different sets of people differ in what they are trying to get out of the session.  A sensual enjoyable session with connection and pleasure.  A session which is just an alternative to masturbation with a pretty face (me? modest?) to help them along. 

Bring on more of the oldies please xxx





I like to keep myself safe.  And that is why, for me, using a condom every single time genitals touch is important.  Really important.  To protect me, them, everyone from disease, pregnancy, etc.

I really don’t understand why you wouldn’t WANT to use them.

But, over the last year this boundary, although always clearly stated, has been broken a number of times.  In my personal and business life.  It is just such a rude thing to do.  I really do not get it.

I give my consent to have sex with you, not get infected by you.

I have now got the stress of going to get tested for STI’s because some rubbish people had to have sex without a condom, without discussing this first.

Also in the last year I have met people who have argued about using a condom (both within my private life).  No condom, no sex, it really is very simple.  But people make out like wanting to use a condom is strange.  I don’t know where you’ve been so stay out of there without protection

There is a phrase that a young single bisexual woman interested in participating in a threesome with a hetero couple is a unicorn.  Because this woman is impossible to find.  Well not that impossible it turns out – I was that woman last night.

I answered an advert on Craigslist.  Apparently written by the female half of the couple (actually written by the man – she did though do the replying to me).  We exchanged some emails, mutually decided that neither of us was to weird to meet up with and agreed to meet.

We met for a meal together (they paid – so happy about that, am very poor atm).  They seemed very normal, I came across well.  We returned to their apartment, had another drink.  Showered and retired to the bedroom.

I had been informed that the female half of this couple was bisexual too.  I really am not sure.  She seemed to be very directed by the male in her ideas, and what she wanted.  Generally not just in the bedroom.  And there were definitely the feeling sometimes that she was totally not into what was going on.  We kissed for a very long time, and she didn’t seem to get anything from this at all.  So i definitely didn’t feel she was that interested. 

Later the man informed me that she would maybe be more willing to explore my body if I didn’t have pubic hair, she really doesn’t like it apparently.  Also he said that he finds that 3somes are more exciting, exponentially so.  This really made me feel that it was his suggestions and she simply went along with them.  This doesn’t exactly feel great for me.  He also overstepped one of two boundaries that I set out.  Which is pretty shitty really.

The sex overall though was simply amazing, I had a number of orgasms, as did she and he also came more then once.  in many respects it was a lovely evening, fine food, interesting company, good sex.

I have been invited to be their Unicorn at the weekend.  I’m not sure if I will attend.

I expected this post to be different from the one that I am writing.  I expected it to be full of my fears, trepidations, emotions as I stepped out into the bright new world of Full Service Sex Work.  Instead I am writing about Lies.

This isn’t due to any harm coming to me.  Just a comment on the fantasy world this client created, and wanted to share.  He assured me he knew everywhere, like the back of his hand.  As we started on a short tourist tour of the city.  After a while it became clear he did not.  His grasp of the local language was exaggerated.  I am sure his position in his job was exaggerated.  It soon felt nothing he said was true.  

He told me stories of his ex, although I now suspect that this “girlfriend” is his former wife.  He told me his apartment was shared with a friend.  I think he is sleeping on the floor of the living room of the apartment he shares with his former wife. 

He told me about experiences he had clearly never had.  How this had resulted in the most amazing experiences, yet never shared beyond that.  He wanted to agree with everything I think.

I met his friends. His behavior was bizarre.  One of them appeared to be his boss.  His friends were lovely sane people.  I liked them a lot.  One said something about how sometimes at clubs there are older men, who are very nice, buy you drinks, take you home to prove to their wife they still “have it”.  I think this was a reference to my client and his behavior.

The sex was terrible – like the fumblings of a teenager.  I lied, bashfully, about cumming.  Maybe I should have taken time to improve his technique, but he wasn’t paying me nearly enough for that.  It didn’t last long (thankfully).  We left for a party.

The party was ace – just the sort of thing I would do in my own free time.  Was so happy for that.  Amazing place, atmosphere, music, people.  Loved every second of it.  Apart from the oppressive heat.

But the whole night has left me wondering about the truth of this man and his life. 


Posted: May 1, 2013 in Uncategorized
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A friend of mine wrote a thing about gizzum, and the reaction of a person when they are young and sex is new and the awareness that gizzum drips back down is also new.  This piece of writing to me is both horrific and beautiful, reminds me of so many things i felt and thought as a 16 year old, drunkenly discovering the world and stupidly sometimes not using protection.

My friend has sent this piece to me, they said i could distribute and share it, so i have copied it out here,  any comments will be passed on to the writer.

“and then the gizzum dribbled out of her cunt, much like the hair gel he would squeeze in splodges out of the plastic bottle in the mornings before school.  He watched, fascinated, as she sat up and let it run in gloppy strings out of herself onto some of his stained boxer-shorts she held underneath.  He saw her tense and one final blob dropped out without a sound, though he imagined a quiet squelch.  He felt a little disgusted, made an excuse, and went to the bathroom.  He sat on the toilet for a second, doing nothing, and then went back to bed.  Luckily she had put herself back under the covers.

Sliding in next to her, the cold smoothness of her skin brushing against his own, something of that initial wonder and excitement returned, though now accompanied by a sense of comfort.  This was the feminine body he wanted, thank God, not that which had his own scummy dribble falling from crevices of it.  No, he wanted smooth skin, curves, gentle touches.  Christ, how he wanted it.  And Christ how little he wanted to see jizzum fall from her cunt again.  she snuggled up to him, and he buried his face in her hair.”