Posts Tagged ‘SW’

Many days of the week I have sex with someone, different people mainly.  We meet in hotels, homes, I stay for an hour maybe two.  And I am paid.  I am often touched, intimately, spend time close with another.

And yet I crave human touch.  More then anything else right now.  I want human touch, to be hugged, stroked, fall asleep in the arms of another.  Anything – as long as there is a prolonged human touch.

It seems ironic when I touch so many people in such an intimate way that I would feel starved of closeness.  But it is different.  There isn’t the same connection somehow.

I think it is how I can’t relax in the same way,  I want to be able to let go, become weightless in that touch, that hug.  But you can’t let go when you are so focused on:

  • what is he doing
  • where are his hands
  • what does he want
  • is he enjoying this
  • do i look sexy
  • feel sexy to him
  • am i still safe
  • ………………..the list could go on

It makes me tense, unable to relax, not there in the moment.  Because I am so busy orchestrating that perfect moment, that is exactly what that client wants right then and there.  Acting and pretending so perfectly that the client will never guess that the moment isn’t real, that it doesn’t exist outside that moment.

I’ve been lucky recently with spooning from friends, and it leaves me feeling so relaxed and happy.  Content with the world.  TV shows people high fiving at getting laid, i’m far happier when i get to spend a night spooning someone I feel I can trust.  The next day i want to shout it from the roof-tops.

Old Vs. Young

Posted: October 23, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

It has been a while since I have posted.  Life has been incredibly busy recently, it always is at the end of the summer travels. 

I am now back at home and settling in work, study, life.  I’m working just a little because I don’t need to work more and I don’t want to.  I work to live, not live to work. 

Today I would like to talk about age of my clients.  My clients vary in age, from their early 20s to somewhere in their 60s.  All of my clients have been civil and lovely to me. 

My older clients are delightful, gentle (except when we’ve agreed for something more kinky) and, they love to make me come.  I mean seriously.  They want to make me cum, and cum, and then cum some more.  sometimes it gets to a point where I literally can not come anymore.  I am begging them to stop, there is only so much pleasure that a body can take. 

I am lucky because I can cum again and again.  Also it isn’t that hard to make me cum.  If I am in the mood for cumming it literally is a matter of stopping me from cumming. 

These older clients take some of the meeting time to talk, about themselves, their lives, their ideas.  There is a connection that forms between us during the session. 

Younger clients though are a whole other kettle of fish.  There was one who wanted to fuck for the WHOLE hour, constantly.  He would cum and then be trying to get it hard again.  He wanted to squeeze every second out of that session.  There was little talking, just fucking.  It was exhausting, one of the most exhausting meets I have ever had. 

I wonder how these two different sets of people differ in what they are trying to get out of the session.  A sensual enjoyable session with connection and pleasure.  A session which is just an alternative to masturbation with a pretty face (me? modest?) to help them along. 

Bring on more of the oldies please xxx

 

 

 

 

Nervous

Posted: May 30, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Today I am off to my first payment for sexual services other then just being watched.  I am off to work in a gloryhole, selling blowjobs and handjobs.  I am currently sat in a coffee shop, because that is where all good days start.  I am nervous, I am excited.  Part of me worries that I won’t be able to do it, that I will forget how to give a blowjob (though surely, like riding a bicycle, it’s not something one simply forgets), another part worries that no one will turn up (another, very small part, hopes this to be true).  what do i do whilst I’m waiting?  Have i brought appropriate reading matterial (Derrick jensen and Sylvia Plath) ?  i don’t know.  will surely be writing again this evening.

xxx